Archive for the ‘Not Lovely’ Category



I made our shower curtain.

shower curtain made from sheet - The Lovely Lifestyle

I went to two alteration locations and my mother went to three – nobody would make it. So, we did what any “scorned” woman with a deep desire for the pretty things would do – came up with a way to do it myself.

A “how to” post is coming next week.


This is an interesting ad campaign by UN Women.

People still think lady brains are not fully functioning or worthwhile. The Google results are from September 3, 2013.



Needlepoint Leopard Clutch from C. Wonder

You can monogram it for $10.00 more.
I’m little worried about how well you can see it even if it’s in Neon Orange. Of course, it would be in Neon Orange.


beginning to middlehere


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My head is full of voices. Luckily they don’t say things like “kill ’em” instead it’s “I think you should buy that” and just random thoughts. You’ve been subjected to my random musings and I believe it’ll become more of a habitual post.

1. We have a nephew arriving today! Love to Amanda (my sister-in-law). It’s crazy to think that she knew last night that it was her last night with only one bambino. I don’t know if I’d be able to sleep. I’d probably be on Pinterest all night making sure I was getting solid parenting advice from the depths of the world wide web.

2. I feel pretty certain that some sicko has a video of me in a gas station bathroom somewhere. I saw something on tv once about dudes putting cameras in public bathrooms and now I can’t shake it. I do my best to stop at “nicer” fast food joints but that’s not always possible. For example, I had to pee in two gas station/ truck stop/”casino” (there was an attached room that had glass walls but the smoke was really thick so all I saw were a few machines and sad looking people) establishments yesterday. It’s always a toss up.

I’ve tried to limit my water intake but that’s such a bad decision and my skin is always ticked off about it. I hold it as long as I can hoping for the best facilities option possible but my bladder is gonna start giving me the finger on that because that’s not a great idea either.

3. Travel purses need to be able to hang from your neck like a feed sack. Many of these restrooms do not have hooks and there are no surfaces you want to come in contact with. Next time you buy a purse see if your head can fit through the straps. If yes, it’s a winner. Thank the heavens I had a cross body (my usual travel inclination) this week.

4. I found my way around Louisiana this week via memory, TeleNav (GPS app that has replaced my need for an extra gadget to pack) and a large set of directions I was provided.


5. Amanda Bynes is Driving Miss Crazy. I can’t tell you one thing she’s been in except car accidents. When you’re in an accident in a rental car because your car is in the shop because it was in an accident I think you’re getting signals. God is trying to tell you something about getting your life together.

6. I don’t think you should be buying this.


It needs to be tested at the Health Department before you bring it home.

Your “Shopping Week” post is coming later today.

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I feel so bad I’m not sure who to punch in the face. Right now I think I’d punch myself in the face. It may knock more snot out of my sinuses and relieve some pressure. (Sidenote: You need to listen for Beck’s new single  “I just started hating some people today.” It’s from his recent teaming up with Jack Black. One of the lyrics states “And I just started wanting to punch your face.” Very topical for my allergy/sinus/disgust.)

I’ve gone through at least one box of tissues since Sunday. That’s when this bull started. I took a Benadryl and fell asleep before I could watch Mad Men. So, Monday I was disappointed and completely in a haze. This, however, did not slow the roll of my snot. I believe I’m currently on tissue number 597. My nose is raw. I look ridiculous on top of it all. I may have to reintroduce “the sick bowl.”

This week is our sales meeting (aka: Everybody in my department is in town and wants to party). Sadly, I do not feel like partying. The only party I want to attend is in my dreams where I can breathe normally and people don’t stop and ask, “Are you okay?!” I received many suggestions to drink certain things – mostly alcohol and Red Bull. Nothing with vitamins has been encouraged. Multiple people have offered me medications. I take all my drugs this way. Just hand it to me. I’ll take it with the recommended Jagermeister. I’ve taken some people up on what they’ve give me. Do I know what it is? Not really. Then, I received lots of different food suggestions from spicy to soup. I’ll pass on the spicy as I don’t want IBS on top of this. My new catch phrase around the office, “Shove it in your face.” This was created because people keep telling me to shove different things in my face. I think it has a 40% rate of catching on. 

I became so desperate that I had Smoothie King for breakfast. I wanted Chick-Fil-A and a gallon of Starbucks but the Starbucks by our office was closed. I’m assuming for renovations as there were people with tools and a “work truck” in the drive-thru. Sons of bitches. I almost ran them over for a Skinny Caramel Macchiato. Instead I just shouted “Shove it in your face!”

Last night was a big work get together but I couldn’t do it. I felt too shitagious and I have meetings all day today that I need to be cognitive for. However, I’m a tad disappointed as it was on the farm that Miley Cyrus shot some movie on. I was hoping I could find some of her left over drugs there. My only shiny thought is hoping that I may be loosing water weight. I mean this snot is coming from somewhere.

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to you, your loved ones and your goat.

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Gross. Sick. Flu.

I felt fine Friday. Friday night I was sure I was having an allergic reaction to The Colonel. (I’m technically allergic – I’ll explain later.) Massive congestion. Saturday I woke up with a temperature. I slept most of the day and then went to the Minute Clinic when I hit 99.7 – my temp is usually a high 96 to low 97. The nurse practitioner shoved a swab up my nose further than I thought possible, placed it in a tube and told me we’d know if I had the flu in about 10 minutes. In 5 minutes we knew I “definitely” have Type A flu.

This is what the trash cans around the house looked like this weekend:

The Mister made stirred water into some can flakes from Costco to create potato soup.

We questioned it.

It was way better than expected. Totally eating that again. It was accompanied by a grilled cheese sandwich. I ate it before remembering the flu montage.

The “flu bucket” came into existance for when I move from bedroom to living room.

Here’s the breakdown of it:

It’s the simple things.

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Not lovely: sick


I’m not feeling well. I feel pretty awful. This cold is whoopin’ my butt and I had a completely unsuccessful weekend. So, lets discuss someone who was productive this weekend. Jenny with My Favorite and My Best.

If you are offended by cursing, the word “turd”  or all lowercase typing – Jenny may not be your thing. However, she is totally mine. This weekend Jenny tried for HGTV’s DesignStar. You can read all about it on her blog. I suggest you stick around and browse beyond her try out stories.

Now, if any of you are nurses and are willing to not judge my piles of snot rags, please come over and help me.


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Not lovely: Bejeweled art

During a recent Tastemakers sale on One Kings Lane I saw this:


Jewel Artwork with Swarovski crystals for $1,749.00

Yes, this was $1,749 and I too almost gagged. When I decide to have jeweled plywood hanging on my wall I do not plan on spending that much. I may spend $17.49 but no commas will be involved.

If you frequent One Kings Lane often, you will realize how quickly their pieces sell out. I always wonder who purchased the item and “I thought we were going through a recession.” I’m probably just jealous they got to it before me. That is unless it is jeweled plywood.

I considered it equaling fake poop, but decided against it. You’re welcome.

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