This past Friday I heard about Oprah having a contest for someone to have a show on her new network OWN the Oprah Winfrey Network. I thought it sounded interesting and looked at the most viewed videos. I didn’t care for them. I don’t need another cooking show or something vaguely described as a “positive show.” What I need is help, motivation and validation that I’m not the only one.
I hate feeling like I’m alone in my failures and I fail somewhat frequently. I sat on my couch and thought “this is all wrong” while shaking my head at video after video. I pulled out my laptop and this is what I typed:
Like the majority of young women – I am trying to be the best version of myself. Striving to become my own. I am a daughter, sister, friend, teacher, co-worker and now a wife. I struggle with balancing those titles, taking the best part of me from each, and molding them into new titles that I dream for myself.
I want to be a cook. I should know how to use knives and not be scared of them. My husband and I desperately need to eat better but we recently bought peaches and I didn’t know how to get into them because they didn’t come from a can.
I want to be a decorator. Yet, I find myself standing in my home and starring – just starring. I wonder what do I do with this space? Or worse, what did I do? I want to take ownership of my home, embrace my DIY spirit. My home needs to be a cocoon, give me peace while looking like it unfolded from a shelter magazine.
I want to be a gardener. But, my black thumb of death is a serial killer of plants. I bring them home, full of anticipation to find that I have smothered them or they give up on me. Their little flora bodies give out.
I want to be a mother. I don’t know when and I don’t know how. I do know how one becomes a mother. But…do we adopt? Do we try to have our own? I had to watch a baby being born in high school psy ed and it did not look like a party I want to attend. Plus, I love my career. Which do you sacrifice?
I want to be the best I can be. To the earth, to my family, to friends, to my job, to my clients, my dog, my husband, to myself.
My friends want to be the best too. We all struggle and reach out to each other, but none of us have it pinned down. Searching and combing through blogs, magazines and TV, we find supposedly simple solutions that are never as easy as advertised. We watch home improvement channels and end up chastising ourselves – as you rarely see mistakes, where indecision is not an option. We DVR cooking shows so we can rewind them to make sure we don’t miss a step, but then we don’t know how to put a meal together on our own. It’s exhausting and frustrating.
We need a show with an honest, friendly, smart and quirky girlfriend trying to navigate life, showing us that it is okay to fail – sometimes miserably. We are not always going to get what we want or how we want it. Yet, through grace and faith in ourselves we’ll be a better people because of it. We need a show that honestly reveals our failures before we eventually find our successes and reach our goals. I’m Rachael Anne and I would be great at helping us all find our way while I find my own.
Saturday afternoon I told Jeremy (The Mister) of my idea. He agreed it was something different and if it existed I would have already found it. We talked about how I sometimes hate on myself because I cannot be like the home improvement shows I love. That home shows about staging were not the answer, as I could only handle so much more glass tile and painting appliances. While cooking shows were inspiring, it would help if I just knew how to choose the correct pot for the dish. We talked about the time I was in the front yard and began shouting at some plants, “You just gave up! What was your problem?!” Then, I realized that the neighbors could hear me. We talked about how I could not be alone in this.
I discovered that what I need is to see someone, not a celebrity and not someone with any type of domestic talent, simply trying to be better at life. I need a girlfriend that is willing to show me it isn’t really that easy, messes up too and shows me how.
We went home and Jeremy asked me when the deadline was. I had to check and realized it was at 11:59 p.m. PST that evening. His eyes got big and told me read over what I typed – that he wanted me to try. Around 7:00 p.m. CST the electricity went out in our neighborhood and I forgot about the whole thing. Then, Jeremy came in with the generator said, “I don’t ask of you much but you have got to try this” and I did. We shot it completely off a generator. Then, we had to go into his office to upload it and for me to complete the application. I didn’t get it done till a few minutes before the deadline.
Yesterday, he called me at work to tell me that it was up on Oprah’s OWN site. When I got home I couldn’t watch it. It starts with me giggling, as it was my third try at it and I was getting tired, and it ends with me almost pouting. I was instantly very critical of myself. So, I sent it to two girlfriends. They told me to go for it and isn’t that the girl power what I was trying to get across in the first place? So, to hell with it and the ugly things I say to myself, here it is:
Check it out, vote if you want to, share with your friends if you can and I would appreciate some encouraging comments. Voting ends on Friday, July 3rd at 11:59 PST.